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Amar Jivan

Āmār Jīvan — My Life

By Bhaktivinoda Thakura From Songs of Vaishnava Acaryas

9 recordings
1
āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata, nāhiko puṇyera leṣa parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto, diyāchi jīvere kleśa
Word for word
āmāra my; jīvana life; sadā always; pāpe in sinful activities; rata engaged; nāhiko there is not; puṇyera of pious activities; leṣa a trace; parere to others; udvega anxiety; diyāchi I am inclined to give; ye who; koto great; diyāchi I give; jīvere to living entities; kleśa suffering
Translation

My life is always engaged in sinful activities, without a trace of pious activities. I am always inclined to give great anxiety and trouble to other living entities.

2
nija sukha lāgi', pāpe nāhi ḍori, dayā-hīna svārtha-paro para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī, para-duḥkha sukha-karo
Word for word
nija my own; sukha sense gratification; lāgi’ for; pāpe in sinful activity; nāhi there is no; ḍori restraint; dayā mercy; hīna devoid of; sva-artha to my personal interest; paro I am dedicated; para of others; sukhe in the happiness; duḥkhī I am unhappy; sadā always; mithya false; bhāṣī words; para of others; duḥkha the misery; sukha my happiness; karo makes
Translation

For my personal sense gratification, I never reject any kind of sinful activity. I am not at all merciful, and I see only to my personal interest. When others are suffering I become very happy, I am always speaking lies, and if someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to me.

3
āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora, krodhī, dambha-parāyaṇa mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita, hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa
Word for word
āśeṣa endless; kāmanā material desires; hṛdi the heart; mājhe in; mora my; krodhī I am angry; dambha to deceit; parāyaṇa dedicated; mada mad; matta with intoxication; sadā always; viṣaye in sense gratification; mohita captivated; hiṁsā malice; garva false pride; vibhūṣaṇa ornaments
Translation

I have lots of material desires within my heart and am always angry and deceitful. I am captivated by subject matters of sense gratification and am almost crazy. My ornaments are malice and false pride.

4
nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata, akārye udyogī āmi pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa, lobha-hata sadā kāmī
Word for word
nidra by sleep; ālasya by laziness; hata attacked; sukārye to pious activities; virata averse; akārye of impious activities; udyogī a performer; āmi I am; pratiṣṭha prestige; lāgiyā for the sake of; śāṭhya cheating; ācaraṇa behavior; lobha by greed; hata conqured; sadā always; kāmī a lusty person
Translation

I am conquered by sleep and laziness and am always averse to pious activities, but I am very enthusiastic to perform impious activities. I always cheat others for my prestige, I am conquered by greed, and I am always lusty.

5
e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita, aparādhi nirantara śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ, nānā duḥkhe jara jara
Word for word
e a; heno such; durjana fallen person; saj-jana with devotees of the Lord; varjita devoid of association; aparādhi an offender; nirantara always; śubha auspicious; kārya activity; śūnya devoid; sadā always; anartha mischievous; manāḥ mind; nānā all kinds of; duḥkhe sufferings; jara jara very old age
Translation

I am so fallen, I have no association with devotees, and I am always an offender. In my life there is not a bit of auspicious activity, and my mind is always attracted by something mischievous. Therefore, at the fag end of my life I have become almost an invalid because of all such sufferings.

6
bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna, tā'te dīna akiñcana bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe, kore duḥkha nivedana
Word for word
bārdhakye in old age; ekhona now; upāya an alternative means; vihīna without; tāte therefore; dīna humble; akiñcana poor; bhakativinoda Bhaktivinoda; prabhura of the Lord; caraṇe to the lotus feet; kore makes; duḥkha with sadness; nivedana offering
Translation

Now in my old age, with no alternative, I have by force become very humble and meek. Thus Bhaktivinoda offers this sad statement of his life’s activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord.

About Amar Jivan

One of Bhaktivinoda Thakura's most famous confessional songs, 'My Life,' a stark self-accounting of a life spent in sin and neglect of devotion, ending in an appeal for Krishna's mercy despite the singer's unworthiness.

Verses
6

Also found in

Srila Prabhupada on this song

Srila Prabhupada spoke on this song in one of his classes:

“Amara jivana sada pape rata nahiko punyera lesa. This is a song sung by Bhaktivinoda Thakura in Vaisnava humbleness. A Vaisnava is always meek and humble”

Excerpted from Srila Prabhupada's recorded classes, © Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International. Read the complete purport at the Vanisource link above.

Frequently asked

Who wrote Amar Jivan?

Amar Jivan was composed by Bhaktivinoda Thakura. It appears in Songs of Vaishnava Acaryas.

What is the meaning of Amar Jivan?

My life is always engaged in sinful activities, without a trace of pious activities. I am always inclined to give great anxiety and trouble to other living entities.

Where can I listen to Amar Jivan?

You can listen to 9 recordings of Amar Jivan on this page, including versions sung by Srila Prabhupada, HG Swarupa Damodar Prabhu, HG Jai Sachinandana Prabhu, HG Sivarama Prabhu.

How many verses does Amar Jivan have?

Amar Jivan has 6 verses.

Can I download Amar Jivan as a PPT or PDF?

Yes. A ready-to-display slide deck for Amar Jivan — verse and translation on each slide — is available to download in both PowerPoint (.pptx) and PDF formats from this page, for use in kirtan or temple programs.

Audio courtesy of ISKCON Desire Tree, ISKCON Devotees. All glories to the devotee singers.

ॐ Hare Krishna Movement, Kota — Nandgram Dham https://nandgramdham.org/songs/amar-jivan/

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