Nandgram Dham Vaishnava Songs · nandgramdham.org/songs

Amar Jivan

Āmār Jīvan — My Life

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Audio courtesy of ISKCON Desire Tree. All glories to the devotee singers.

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Script

Text

1

āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata, nāhiko puṇyera leṣa parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto, diyāchi jīvere kleśa

Word for word

āmāra—my; jīvana—life; sadā—always; pāpe—in sinful activities; rata—engaged; nāhiko—there is not; puṇyera—of pious activities; leṣa—a trace; parere—to others; udvega—anxiety; diyāchi—I am inclined to give; ye—who; koto—great; diyāchi—I give; jīvere—to living entities; kleśa—suffering

Translation

My life is always engaged in sinful activities, without a trace of pious activities. I am always inclined to give great anxiety and trouble to other living entities.

2

nija sukha lāgi', pāpe nāhi ḍori, dayā-hīna svārtha-paro para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī, para-duḥkha sukha-karo

Word for word

nija—my own; sukha—sense gratification; lāgi’—for; pāpe—in sinful activity; nāhi—there is no; ḍori—restraint; dayā—mercy; hīna—devoid of; sva-artha—to my personal interest; paro—I am dedicated; para—of others; sukhe—in the happiness; duḥkhī—I am unhappy; sadā—always; mithya—false; bhāṣī—words; para—of others; duḥkha—the misery; sukha—my happiness; karo—makes

Translation

For my personal sense gratification, I never reject any kind of sinful activity. I am not at all merciful, and I see only to my personal interest. When others are suffering I become very happy, I am always speaking lies, and if someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to me.

3

āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora, krodhī, dambha-parāyaṇa mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita, hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣaṇa

Word for word

āśeṣa—endless; kāmanā—material desires; hṛdi—the heart; mājhe—in; mora—my; krodhī—I am angry; dambha—to deceit; parāyaṇa—dedicated; mada—mad; matta—with intoxication; sadā—always; viṣaye—in sense gratification; mohita—captivated; hiṁsā—malice; garva—false pride; vibhūṣaṇa—ornaments

Translation

I have lots of material desires within my heart and am always angry and deceitful. I am captivated by subject matters of sense gratification and am almost crazy. My ornaments are malice and false pride.

4

nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata, akārye udyogī āmi pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa, lobha-hata sadā kāmī

Word for word

nidra—by sleep; ālasya—by laziness; hata—attacked; sukārye—to pious activities; virata—averse; akārye—of impious activities; udyogī—a performer; āmi—I am; pratiṣṭha—prestige; lāgiyā—for the sake of; śāṭhya—cheating; ācaraṇa—behavior; lobha—by greed; hata—conqured; sadā—always; kāmī—a lusty person

Translation

I am conquered by sleep and laziness and am always averse to pious activities, but I am very enthusiastic to perform impious activities. I always cheat others for my prestige, I am conquered by greed, and I am always lusty.

5

e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita, aparādhi nirantara śubha-kārya-śūnya, sadānartha-manāḥ, nānā duḥkhe jara jara

Word for word

e—a; heno—such; durjana—fallen person; saj-jana—with devotees of the Lord; varjita—devoid of association; aparādhi—an offender; nirantara—always; śubha—auspicious; kārya—activity; śūnya—devoid; sadā—always; anartha—mischievous; manāḥ—mind; nānā—all kinds of; duḥkhe—sufferings; jara jara—very old age

Translation

I am so fallen, I have no association with devotees, and I am always an offender. In my life there is not a bit of auspicious activity, and my mind is always attracted by something mischievous. Therefore, at the fag end of my life I have become almost an invalid because of all such sufferings.

6

bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna, tā'te dīna akiñcana bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe, kore duḥkha nivedana

Word for word

bārdhakye—in old age; ekhona—now; upāya—an alternative means; vihīna—without; tāte—therefore; dīna—humble; akiñcana—poor; bhakativinoda— Bhaktivinoda; prabhura—of the Lord; caraṇe—to the lotus feet; kore—makes; duḥkha—with sadness; nivedana—offering

Translation

Now in my old age, with no alternative, I have by force become very humble and meek. Thus Bhaktivinoda offers this sad statement of his life’s activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord.

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About Amar Jivan

One of Bhaktivinoda Thakura's most famous confessional songs, 'My Life,' a stark self-accounting of a life spent in sin and neglect of devotion, ending in an appeal for Krishna's mercy despite the singer's unworthiness.

Frequently asked

Who wrote Amar Jivan?

Amar Jivan was composed by Bhaktivinoda Thakura. It appears in Songs of Vaishnava Acaryas.

What is the meaning of Amar Jivan?

My life is always engaged in sinful activities, without a trace of pious activities. I am always inclined to give great anxiety and trouble to other living entities.

Where can I listen to Amar Jivan?

You can listen to 5 recordings of Amar Jivan on this page, including versions sung by Srila Prabhupada, HG Swarupa Damodar Prabhu, HG Jai Sachinandana Prabhu, HG Sivarama Prabhu.

How many verses does Amar Jivan have?

Amar Jivan has 6 verses.

Can I download Amar Jivan as a PPT or PDF?

Yes. A ready-to-display slide deck for Amar Jivan — verse and translation on each slide — is available to download in both PowerPoint (.pptx) and PDF formats from this page, for use in kirtan or temple programs.